This year I celebrated my 34th birthday half naked in the streets of Trinidad with thousands of people celebrating Carnival. Lucky me, the celebration came earlier this year and provided a wonderful venue for my special day. If I was needlessly vain, I could have pretended that thousands of people took to the streets of Trinidad in beautiful costumes to celebrate my birth...NOT- but hey with the kind of year I was having, I could have used such a delusional thought.
At any rate, everyone in my group had grand plans of stepping up Project Get Fine so that we would look spectacular in our costumes. Life happens and well, yeah...let me just say, good intentions hardly get you anywhere. Consistency and hard work are just as important...needless to say I didn't feel that I looked my best.
If you familiar with modern-day Carnival celebrations, all you need to know is lots of partying, drinking, and no sleep! As an older Trini woman on my flight explained to me, carnival wasn't always about people dancing half-naked in the streets. There were stories told by each of the bands and great efforts were made by all that participated to create these beautiful productions for their audiences. Today, the bands still have themes, beautiful costumes and some even create routines, but like much of past cultural traditions of any nation, the bands have become more secular with less storytelling and less clothing. Carnival is actually tied to Christianity and I believe more specifically Catholicism but I have not done any research to give particulars. I do find it interesting that what happens today seems to be less religious and arguably less spiritual.
And this leads us to the point of this post, I was able to have a spiritual experience in the midst of the gyrations and drinking. As I believe many people must have some spiritual moment if they are willing to walk and dance in decorated bathing suits, letting all to see them exposed and shaking everything. The spiritual experience is one of no inhibitions and total acceptance and appreciation for your physical appearance regardless of imperfections.
It took me parading around half-naked in the streets of Trinidad for me to embrace the fact that regardless of my physical imperfections, I was a beautiful woman. Despite not having a waistline, a backside or tanned skin that made men do double-takes and women envy, there was nothing wrong with me. I wasn't perfect but I wasn't wrong either. I had become so caught up in tearing myself down in not looking like the models used to display our costumes that I created a whirlwind of negative emotions, turning my party of thousands into a party of pain. Eventually, I found a way out of that sad hormonal cloud and learned to love and accept me, flaws and all.
Today, 6 months later I've made improvements on consistent exercise routines and evolving my diet to something more healthy (read more vegetarian). However, I'm still no Halle Berry but I'm feeling good about the way I look.
By the way, we had a ball. The entire experience was worth the expense. Here are some photos from the trip.
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